Joe Hernandez-Kolski on creating a solo show and working the college circuit.

Joe Hernandez-Kolski is a two-time HBO Def Poet from the city of Chicago (he takes his street cred way too seriously).  He has created several theater pieces that have been performed at the San Francisco Hip-Hop Theater Festival, the New York Fringe Festival, Ars Nova NYC, the Comedy Central stage, you get the idea.  In addition, his short film, “Afterschool’d,” about an afterschool Hip-Hop program gone wrong, was an NBC Comedy Shorts Cuts Finalist.  Joe is a Film Independent Fellow and graduate of Princeton University.

I started writing poetry as a release in high school.  I never thought much of it besides the fact that it made my brain feel better.  When I moved out to LA, I was doing a lot of ensemble-based theater.  Huge shows with 12-15 member casts.  I loved the experience, although I wanted something a bit more visceral and immediate.  Not to mention, a little stage time alone (I’m a Leo, go figure.)  I started gravitating towards the spoken word community.  “Spoken word” is a term often used to describe a specific form of poetry that is written with the intention of performing it.  Part hip-hop, part performance art, part comedy, part storytelling, part ripping-open-your-rib-cage-and-displaying-your-heart-to-be-analyzed.  As long as it’s honest, it’s admired.  I immediately fell in love.  It was incredibly healing for me that people connected with the thoughts that had been rattling around in my head.  And I was making them laugh!  These café open-mics allowed me to share my thoughts on a stage very quickly.  I could write a piece that day and be performing it that night.  I was at a different mic every night.  Mondays were at Luna Sol Café (RIP), Tuesdays at Da Poetry Lounge, Wednesdays at World Stage, Thursdays at Green (RIP).  You get the idea.  Like any artist, I kept wanting more.  One poem wasn’t enough.  One small feature set wasn’t enough.  What if the DJ plays this track when I say this line?  What if the light board op goes to black out on my closing line?  Not to mention the fact that I couldn’t get anyone to come out and see me!  They would say, “So, wait, you’re gonna read a poem?  Just one?  And what time does it start?  10:30??”  At the same time, I was hosting an open-mic called Downbeat 720 that, eight years later, has grown to be LA’s premier open stage for high school performers.  I was hired by a man who is now a dear friend named Justin Yoffe.  One night, as we were preparing for the high school kids, Justin nonchalantly said, “Yeah, if you wanna do a show, I’ll produce it.”  DONE.  I put together a solo show entitled, “You Wanna Piece of Me?” which dealt with my mixed ethnic upbringing, feminism, pop culture and a gang-related shooting that directly affected my family.  This was a major step forward for my work and myself.  One of the main reasons was because I had brought in a director, my buddy Benjamin Byron Davis.   I had seen his two solo shows and really admired what he did.  I believe a director is a crucial component to any solo performer’s work.  You need someone who you trust to watch, sculpt and call you on your bullshit.  He helped me avoid being preachy (or at least he tried).  He helped me take the journey with the audience.  Shortly thereafter, after several videotape submissions and numerous (I mean, NUMEROUS) phone calls, I was able to get on this new TV show that was bringing a lot of attention to the spoken word poetry community, “Russell Simmons Presents Def Poetry.” They saved my performance for the season finale and I was very excited.

At the same time, I had reached out to a friend named Saul Williams who is a highly respected poet/musician/actor.  He was one of the first spoken word poets to really “break through” thanks to his performance at the National Poetry Slam Finals and a film called “Slam.”  He referred me to his speaking agency that booked all of his college gigs for him.  I sent them a demo reel and they almost immediately signed me.  And here’s the big reason why I have found success in the college circuit…I FIT A NICHE.  The agency didn’t have any young Latino poets on their roster.  So when Latino Heritage Month came around, they didn’t have any young voices to submit to schools and spoken word poets were HOT at this time.  So when I first got signed in 2004, for those few wonderful weeks known as Latino Heritage Month, I was performing at a different college every night (Thank you, America, for compartmentalizing your ethnic cultures into one-month increments).

So whenever there’s a Latino/Hispanic event at a college, I get the call.  I have two shows : “Refried Latino Pride” and “Cultural Collisions: Commentary for a Changing America.”  I go in, I perform my 45min set of poetry/comedy that pokes fun at my own ethnic identity, I talk about pop culture & music and I even dabble in a li’l feminism.  It’s perfect for the college audience.  In fact, it is very much DESIGNED for them.  My agents originally said, “Your show’s title has to have the word ‘Latino’ in it.”  Then, more recently, we’ve been pushing my work beyond the frame of the Latino community and more along the lines of general diversity, thus the title “Cultural Collisions.”  I recently met with my agents and they helped me tighten up the language in my EPK (electronic press kit).  I am no longer just saying, “Hey, I’m a poet/comedian who wants to come perform for your student body.”  Now I’m saying, “I have created a high-energy interactive show that takes a fresh approach to discussing diversity on your campus.”  How academic does that sound?!

I am very blessed that I get to travel all over the country to some of the most remote colleges and I get to share my thoughts for a living.  I pride myself in being both Mexican and Polish (I’m about as Chicago as you get.).  In the end, my material talks about just being yourself.  One of my favorite moments was when this ethnically ambiguous kid ran up to me after a show and was like, “Hey, man! I’m Mexican and ITALIAN!”  He was so proud.  Normally, us mixed-ethnic kids don’t really know where we stand.  Sometimes I feel like Glinda, the good witch of the North, imploring all ethnically-mixed munchkins to “Come out.  It’s safe now.”

As I said earlier, when Def Poetry first came out, I was doing a ton of shows.  My agency had this “Def Poetry” brand to throw around and schools picked up on it.  In the past few years, now that the show is no longer on the air, the brand has diminished in popularity.  Not to mention the fact that, after six seasons, there are a TON of poets out there capitalizing on the “Def Poet” brand.  So the market’s tougher.  The National Association of College Activities (NACA) is still one of the golden rings that all college performers are fighting for.  The annual NACA conferences happen all over the country.  They are three-day weekends where representatives from all of the colleges in the area get together and watch entertainment.  Then they go into a huge convention room where all of the entertainers have booths set up and discuss possible gigs.   To get on the bill, you need to put together a solid demo reel and either submit yourself or have your agent submit you.  I’ve done it a couple of times to mixed results.  College budgets are really tight these days, particularly for diversity events that, as I said, tend to be my niche.  Not to mention I need something new to grab attention, a new credit or a new “as seen on” that my agents can push.  (All of these damn reality stars keep getting booked and, according to one student, they’re “talking loud and saying nothing.”)

For a few years, I just left it up to my agents to book my college shows.  I was more focused on booking TV and film gigs here in LA.  Nowadays, I try to keep it balanced.  As I keep my eyes peeled on breakdowns, I also do my best to reach out to colleges myself.  It’s been quite a success.  I don’t know if you guys know about this thing called the “internet” but it’s a pretty amazing tool when it comes to tracking down College Activities reps.  On a sad note, I recently dealt with the passing of my mother.  For almost three months, I sat by her bedside in the hospital in Chicago.  I obviously wasn’t able to make auditions in LA.  I was, however, able to work on my computer.  That was when I took the time and tracked people down.  I sent them my EPK with video links to my performances and I got a pretty high percentage of responses.  I then created a spread sheet of all of the college reps who I had contacted.  Some contacts have worked out, some haven’t.  I can tell you this, by starting way back in January, I now have many more gigs booked for this upcoming fall semester than I normally do at this time of the year.  The important thing is I keep sending out new introductions to new schools.  It’s all about the numbers.  I really think that goes for most things in life.  Keep hitting the open-mics, keep submitting yourself to projects, keep calling new boys or girls who you like.  Stop asking, “Why hasn’t that woman called me back?  I thought we really connected.  Why didn’t that casting director reply to my Facebook message?  I thought we were friends.”  It’s about the number of reps not the response.

Now let me briefly discuss pricing.  Over the past few years, my price has gone up and I’m proud of that.  Of course, it still varies widely depending on the school’s budget.  Personally, I hate negotiating (that’s why we’re artists, right?).  I always get less than what my agent is able to get.  It’s their job and they’re great at it.  Sometimes, however, I’ve gotta do it.  Recently, I had a really good experience where I learned to KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT.  A school rep said, “Normally we pay $2200 for one performance but we’d like you to do two shows back to back so we’ll pay you a bit more.”  My brain said, “Okay, let’s ask for $2500.”  Ya see, I’m a sucker.  Even though that’s less than what I normally get paid for one show, I wanted to help her out.  Well, thanks to the evil AT&T empire, the call got dropped right before I gave her that quote.  She called back and said, “Okay, we can pay you $4500 for two shows.  Is that ok?”  I controlled my enthusiasm and said, “Um…yeah, that’ll work.”

The road is an interesting place to spend so much time.  Sometimes I arrive and see that they’ve made a large effort to promote my show.   There are full color flyers plastered all over the campus.  I arrive to the theater space/lecture hall and there are a ton of kids working to prepare the room.  (On a side note, I’ve also learned how important the actual space is.  If I can control it, I make sure that my stage is on the opposite side of the entrance.  Otherwise, kids will continue to get distracted by those walking in late.  I also tape off the back rows and push everyone forward.  A controlled space is crucial.)  The space fills up and I feel really confident about the work that I’m doing.  For example, I have a poem called “Feminists Anonymous” about a man who is in recovery from being a feminist and he’s attending his first meeting.  I just did that piece at Wellesley College (an all-women’s school) and, wow, talk about a poem finding it’s audience!  Then there are times when, well, shit just don’t work out.  I was hired to do a lunchtime show in Kentucky (oh, yes, just wait).  It was my fault that I didn’t research the show.  Up until that point, I think I would just get the booking info from my agency and go perform.  I would modify my show ONLY if my agents warned me.  For example, I know that when I perform at Baylor University in Waco, Texas, I have to do a Rated PG performance.  My agents had NOT warned me about this show.  But still, I should’ve realized that it was a lunchtime show so, hmm, maybe I should keep out the poem where I say the line, “Work the balls, work the balls.”  Turns out, I was hired not as a poet/comedian but as a KEYNOTE SPEAKER for a conference on diversity and education.  (I’m laughing as I write this.  It’s funny now.  But it wasn’t as I read the numerous comment cards after the show that said, “We loved EVERYTHING…except for the keynote speaker.”)  Nowadays, I check in with the school, make sure that there aren’t any rules and get an idea of who will be in the audience.  I also tailor one of my pieces (“Cool”) to each and every school.

I am very fortunate.  These shows have helped me tremendously as a performer.  If I look back at the first performance and compare it to my most recent show, I can see how much I’ve grown, how comfortable I am on stage now.  I used to sit down in the front row and not talk with any of the students before the performance.  I was so caught up in my ego.  My mind was saying, “Hey, I’m this cool def poet and I need to create this air of importance before I get on stage.”  Nowadays, I don’t give a shit.  I walk around beforehand and introduce myself to all of the students.  It makes the show go so much better.  They’re warmed up to me and vice versa.  They are so much more open to laughing and having a good time because I’ve helped create that space.  And I no longer care about who’s NOT there.  All I care about is who IS there.  If there are only five students, those five students are gonna get the best show they’ve ever seen.  In fact, it might be even better because of the intimacy. (Wait, that rhymed.  Can I use that line?)

Good luck with your own adventures and feel free to reach out to me.

p.s.  I’m heading back to Kentucky this fall.  Wish me luck.

THE ROAD

By Joe Hernandez-Kolski

Another hotel room
Opens in front of my eyes
I wanna crash on the bed
But, shit, it’s already 5
The college student’s arrived
So a quick shit shower and shave as always
I grab my merchandise
I’m back down the hallway

This is the fast pace of livin’ on the road
What you call a hotel I call home!

I.  Am.  Ready.
Or as much as I can be
Cuz I can always see the cracks that you will never see

I arrive to banners and full color flyers
The student council greets me
Hell yeah, they’re excited!
Everyone is dressed to the nines
The men rockin’ suits and ties

Two girls stand in front of me and confess
“We watched all of your YouTube videos”
Hell, yes!
“Oh, cool, I’m glad you liked them or, I mean, I hope you liked them”
I feign slight embarrassment
A tad vulnerability
When in reality I think
You sure as hell should be!
You better find time
My poetry is the shit!
I put together words that rhyme
Like a shoe that perfectly is the appropriate size of the foot!
I traveled all the way from LA
Where I am an actor profesional
Yeah, you may have seen me in Lincoln Heights in the pivotal role of “Store Manager”
Or in The Soloist as “EMT #1”
Or as “Man #2” in Hancock ‘til my scene got cut!

I step on stage
I rock it like a king
The Leo in me
Loves this center ring
It’s good to be the boss
Of my own multi-tiered corporation
Gimme that paycheck for
Getting standing ovations
My sister’s a school social worker
No one ever applauds her at the end of her day
I feel bad but, shit, what can I say?

This is the life!
This is the Road!
What you call some random multipurpose room
I call home!

But some nights…

I show up and my name is misspelled on the flyers
And it’s pouring down rain outside
So there’s a just a handful of people in a student center
And I’ve gotta battle against the SportsCenter chatter
My show’s been moved up by an hour
Cuz the Grey’s Anatomy season finale is on
No one buys a single t-shirt
No one signs the mailing list
One student with her dinner tray
Is like, “Who the hell is this?”
And the few who did show up disappear
Before taking a single pic
I’m left with the one student leader
Who tells her friends, “Yeah, I’ll catch up in a bit.”
We get in the car and she says,
“Whew, well that’s one event down.
Are you hungry?
There’s really nothing open in town
Back out on the interstate
There’s probably a Wendy’s or something
I can run you through a drive thru
On our way back to your hotel room”
Which once again
Opens in front of my eyes

And I have so much energy
But it’s just me, myself and my fries
And before I realize
The silence is asking me
Have you really made the most of your life?
Sitting on a hotel bed
Having pretend conversations with your fictional wife
I drown him out with the sounds of the TV
Late night “Law & Order” on TNT
(Dear God, how many episodes of this show did they make??)
Great!  Now I’m gonna be up all night!
I just had a Big Classic Combo
And it’s way past midnight!
I’ve gotta get up way before check out
Please tell me they have a fitness center
Here so I can work out!

I turn off the lights and try to get to bed
But, dammit, I can’t get these thoughts out of my head
I know they wanted it to feel like a cafe
But did they really have to put a carpet on the stage?
So I slip at the top of the show
So when that drunk kid wouldn’t shut up I was about to blow
Did I say too much when I started to vent?
Was I being personal or a self-indulgent mess?
Shit, I forgot to call my roommate
Now it’s too late
I guess I’ll take a taxi home
There’s 30 bucks down the drain
I might have to buy a new car
How can I afford that?
Combine it with my mom’s bills
How can I make an impact
When I can’t even pay off my credit card?
Mom, why didn’t you tell me it was gonna be this hard?
I miss you so much on a daily basis
Your face appears in so many places
I’m trying so hard to get out
Of my own internal prison cell
The back pain
The self-doubt
And now I’m getting dizzy spells
With no health care
And money that comes and goes
And at Christmas Time
Who’s gonna help me buy my dress clothes?

You left me with so much still to prove
So much I wanted to do for you
The trips we were supposed to take
I kept postponing our Mexican cruise
I’m trying so hard to live up to your high expectations
The faith you placed in me is truly a blessing

This emotion that I’m feeling
This right here is what life is about
And I’m beginning to understand that now
You taught me to stop
Take a deep breath
Look around
Even when it was embarrassing
I knew that you were proud
You had the entire movie crowd applaud for my credit
Even though you saw my face for less than a second
These are all steps in my journey
This is where I’m meant to be
Traveling ‘round the country
I am very lucky and very happy
I will perform for anyone anywhere
I don’t care about who’s not there
Just gimme a space and a mic
And I will share my most intimate thoughts and moments
It takes courage to take a look at your own life and own it

I’ve got so many should’ve could’ve would’ves
But I let those go
So many nights I got nervous around a woman
When I should’ve just gone in for the kiss
So many jobs I missed
Because I was too scared to fully commit
So many mornings I was ready to call you and call it quits
But I do not give up
Because if one thing had changed
Even the slightest bit
I might not be here tonight
Experiencing this

This hotel room
As usual too deep in my head
Fuck, now it’s really late
I’ve gotta get to bed!
Let it go ‘til tomorrow
Then I’ll figure out the exact reason why I was born
For now I’m wondering
Will the college pay for it if I order porn?
Cuz this is who I am
This is what you get
One minute I’m contemplating life’s questions
One minute I’m horny as shit

And before I know it
Another hotel room
Closes in front of my eyes
I walk outside to beautiful blue skies
I miss you, Mom
But you know I’m gonna be alright
I keep moving
I’ve got another show tonight.