Emily Weisberg is a director working in Los Angeles. Recent credits include Bermuda!, ROBOTS VS FAKE ROBOTS, Jumping the Median, How To Be A Good Son, Independence, and numerous staged readings and workshops. Along with directing, she is a member of the Ojai Playwrights Conference reading committee and Artistic Director of Push To Talk Theatre Company, a company formed to support the development and performance of new work. When not directing, Emily spends her time wondering if she should move back to Chicago.

Recently, I had to audition. “But, Emily…” you may be wondering aloud, “you’re a talented and well-known (to your parents, close friends and co-workers) director, why are you auditioning for anything?” Well (self-effacing chuckle) thank you for saying so. That’s very kind. But even those of us in the upper echelon of our fields have to step outside of our comfort zones now and again and prove to those around us we really are as capable as we say we are in resumes and post-it notes pasted up on our bathroom mirrors proclaiming our kick-assitude.

Back to the audition. I had to, as they put it, “cold direct.” It involved being put in a room with two actors I had never met, with a scene I had been given a week before, and direct them as three people stared at me with all the emotion and empathy of robots made of the precious metals apathy and judgment. How’d I do? Awesome. Totally, totally awesome. Beyond the fact that preparation is the cornerstone of good directing, I felt totally uncomfortable from the moment I began until they mercifully let me leave the room, their calm robot eyes watching me trip over my bag and drop my pages in a fevered rush to escape the room. As I tripped out the door, hastily gathering my papers and trying desperately to make eye contact with no one, ever again, I heard a voice call out to me “Wait! Come back!” My papers fanning out before me like some origami creation representing abject failure (or a swan), I looked up as one of my robots caught up to me and offered me, on the spot, the job.

I’m kidding.

They never called and I spent the next few weeks exploring dental hygienist programs and/or the possibility of moving to the inner city and changing lives, Dangerous Minds style.

Why share this tale of woe? Because the second I left the room I called an actor friend and shouted “HOW DO YOU DO IT!?” I had become so used to being on the safe side of the audition table, I forgot how difficult auditioning can be. Now, unlike the robot overlords who auditioned me, I have been guided by some wonderful people who have helped me learn to create what I hope is a welcoming and constructive audition environment. However, as is the theme of this column, I am a theatre gal functioning in a film world, and have be confronted with, time and again, audition tricks and fall-backs cultivated for on-camera auditions, that do not work for the stage. So, with the feeble hope that there are those of you interested in landing a stage role, I wanted to offer up a few suggestions that I hope will help you on your next theatrical audition.

Let me issue forth a brief qualifier: these are things that I look for. Other theatre directors may not look for these things, or they make look askance at them, or sideways even, but I believe they’re good tips and hope they help.

– Don’t dress for the role. Unlike TV or film, when you’re going out for a specific role, general auditions for a play are usually just that, general. When I see someone come in for generals, I am looking at them for multiple roles and want to be able to imagine them in many capacities. If you come in dressed for a specific role, you make that harder for me, and life is hard as it is, so quit it. Wearing something neutral allows me to focus on you and not a costume, and goes a long way towards letting me see you in the world of the play. When you get a callback for a specific part, there is a lot of room to dress in a way that suggests the character, but I still think a neutral, well-fitting outfit is the way to go.

– Pay attention to what the audition calls for. Sides aren’t usually provided in a general theatrical audition. I don’t care how good you are, if you utter the words “Oh. I didn’t know I had to have something prepared,” I’m done. Always have a contemporary and classical comedic and dramatic monologue ready to go. You never know when a great audition will come up and you want to make sure you have what you need to nail it.

– Don’t perform an original piece. Always choose something tried and tested that won’t leave your auditioners focused on “who the hell wrote that!?” rather than on you. I had a lovely lady audition for me with a piece she explained, “was an amalgam of her own personal diary entries and selections from the film Girl, Interrupted.” Best intentions aside, this does not a good audition choice make.

–Do perform a piece that works for the play! If you’re auditioning for a play set in a futuristic robot underworld, I wouldn’t recommend Ophelia. Better Shakespeare than your diary, I suppose, but coming in with an appropriate piece goes a long way towards showing me you’re prepared for the audition.

– Please let me know when you’re finished. The lovely lady in the aforementioned audition completed her piece with a mighty hand flourish and stared at me for a good 30 seconds before loudly proclaiming, “MONOLOGUE!” and exiting the room Olivier style. A simple “scene” or brief lowering of your head, although somewhat stylized, is the best and easiest way to let me know you’re done.

– You’ll secure a callback within the first 20 seconds of your audition, so use them wisely! I love nothing more than someone who walks in prepared, introduces himself/ herself and does their piece. As my story hopefully conveys, I definitely get how tough it is to perform on cue, while people stare at you, trying to decide if you’re “good enough,” but the simple act of entering confidently and being ready goes a long way towards convincing people that you are.

Once you’ve secured yourself a callback, the game changes a bit, but all the above-mentioned items are still vital in making a good impression and securing another opportunity to really showcase yourself. And I’ll tell you a little secret I hope will make your next foray in front of an audition table a bit easier…YOU have what we want. Not the other way around. As every audition day begins, I pray that someone will walk through the door who will be exactly who I’m looking for. I look for it, I hope for it and when I find it, I am beyond grateful. The power in an audition lies with you, and these suggestions are ways to help make how very right you are that much more obvious to the people sitting in front of you.

As usual, if you’re looking for something great to see in the next few weeks, check out the following plays:

Scarcity by Lucy Thurber

October 22nd-November 23rd needtheater in residence at Imagined Life Theater

For Tickets: www.needtheater.org

Stray by Ruth McKee

October 14-November 22nd at The Black Dahlia Theatre

A co-production between the Black Dahlia Theatre and Chalk Repertory Theatre. Rachel and James move from Uganda to Ohio, hoping to provide a better life for their newly adopted African son, Daniel. Suffering from a severe case of PTSD, Daniel struggles desperately in the public school system, overwhelming his inexperienced teacher and threatening to unravel Rachel & James marriage.

For tickets: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/84320

Equivocation by Bill Cain

Nov 18-Dec 20th The Geffen Playhouse

In a world where history is told by the winner, comes a new play about the night England’s infamous Gunpowder Plot was foiled. For hundreds of years, this event has been celebrated as Guy Fawkes Day, but it’s clear there is no way the night could have unfolded the way the Crown claimed. So, without Fox News at his disposal, how does King James turn fiction into fact? He hires the world’s greatest playwright. Enter William Shakespeare. With the weight of history on their shoulders, Shakespeare and his winsome troupe struggle to dramatize the King’s absurd account without losing their integrity – or their heads.

Featuring playful allusions to some of the Bard’s greatest works, Equivocation is a high-stakes tale where history meets fiction and fiction meets its match.

For Tickets: www.geffenplayhouse.com